Pushing up daisies.
Some of you might remember that i’ve been really into plants. As I spent the last few months growing a happy little garden on my rooftop. It has been a wonderful learning experience, and helping all my plants grow and change has given me a new perspective. In my last newsletter I talked a bit about feeling like goo, a feeling of complete loss. A feeling that the old version of me is completely gone, and i’m left not knowing what i’m supposed to turn into. Well, for the past few weeks it has been feeling like i’m growing sprouts. Considering that it’s August, the busiest time of the year for our business. I’m suprised to to say i’m feeling pretty good. My goal for this summer was to not get burnt out again. I was so lucky to get a taste of a manageable schedule at the start of the year, and i’ve been doing everything I can to hold on to it. Ever since May hit my nervous system has been bracing for impact, but it still hasn’t arrived. I haven't been forced past exhaustion yet, or maybe I haven’t let myself be. I have been listening very closely to my body. If anything causes me stress I have been shutting it down right away. I would like to say in a calm and rational sort of way, but it’s been more of a wild explosion of me pushing things away. In my goo state, I seem to have lost the ability to mentally handle external stressors, and honestly my brain feels pretty vulnerable.
So i’m trying to unapologetically do what I need, and listen to what my body wants me to do: I’ve been focusing on sleep, eating healthy veggies, tending to my garden, walking, hiking, reading, winding down with yoga, taking vitamins, and improving my gut health. It feels like it’s working! In fact I feel like I’m growing a new person, and these are all things that growing an Emily require.
So to sum up i’ve been taking it real easy ya’ll! If I get stuck working late and need more sleep the next morning. I take it. Even it means skipping a studio day. I’m putting up giant walls and boundaries around my body. The biggest need I still seem to have is solitude, when I’m around groups of people it drains me for days after. It’s okay though, because I have found the best way to fill up my energy stores is by getting in the studio whenever I can. Lately, it feels like the second I enter the door. I go right into a flow state. My body just starts moving. Everything is instinct. I start by making colored slip. From there everything starts flowing from one texture into the next. I make clay out of the slip, then use the clay to make different types of cups, or I use some of the slip to texture other forms. Every bit organically gets used up into different forms and objects. All the staple pieces that I make seem to be muscle memory now. So it feels like i’m just watching liquid color and feeling different textures on my fingertips. I’m not really thinking about what i’m doing. I’m just observing. I know this sounds strange, but it has been giving me such great energy. I just go somewhere in my mind where it’s safe and cozy. When i’m there my energy just starts to fill up like a pot of coffee, a steady constant drip.
Flow state photos.
These are all the wild forms I jump to and from when i’ve been in my studio lately. Colored slip turns into the words on a mug, then turns into building walls on a mug. From their it gets turned into colored clay to texture a candlestick holder. Organically random, but somehow all connected by one color.
